Just Enough, Or Not Enough At All?

I've been reading through lots of diaries/memoirs/blogs these past few months, and have been greatly challenged by the lives of people whom God has sent before me to love the afflicted and needy. Whether it be The Life and Diary of David Brainerd (missionary to American Indians in mid-1700s), There is No Me Without You (story of an Ethiopian woman who took in hundreds of orphans at the start of the HIV/AIDS crisis), or the Amazima Ministries blog (written by a 21-year old named Katie, who is living in Uganda with 14 no-longer-orphaned daughters)- there is something about these stories that catches me off-guard.

Maybe it's because these stories are so unlike the story I foresee playing out in my own life. I find myself thinking- I could never live with as much single-minded devotion as David Brainerd did. I could never persist through devastation and hopelessness the way Haregewoin did. I could never really leave behind everything to care for orphans the way Katie did.

I label these stories and people as radical, and very different than myself- but what if I'm wrong in doing so? Francis Chan says it well in his book Crazy Love, in a chapter called "Profile of the Lukewarm,"

"Why is it that the story of someone who has actually done what Jesus commands resonates deeply with us, but we then assume we could never do something so radical or intense? Or why do we call it radical when, to Jesus, it is simply the way it is? The way it should be?"

Why am I so surprised in coming across people actually doing what God's word says? Would Jesus label them as radical, or would He simply see them as faithful?

In reading these stories, I have become aware of my own lukewarm obedience, and "just enough" method to following Jesus. I was concerned with figuring out how I could be devoted just enough to be counted faithful, but avoid any actual suffering; or how I could surrender just enough to be counted obedient, but still be comfortable.

Problem is, as Francis Chan writes, "the idea of holding back certainly didn't come from Scripture. The Bible teaches us to be consumed with Christ and to faithfully live out His words. The Holy Spirit stirs in us joy and peace when we are fixated on Jesus, living by faith, and focused on the life to come."

Perhaps in choosing to remain lukewarm and continue giving "just enough"- I am actually missing out on the real joy of following Christ. Even more, what if I miss not only the joy, but the entire point as well? What if lukewarm faithfulness and obedience really doesn't count for anything? What if my "just enough" is really not enough at all? Jesus seems to make it pretty clear when He said He was going to vomit the lukewarms of His kingdom out of His mouth (Rev 3:16). Somehow I doubt He meant that to be more pleasant than it sounds- I think He might have been serious. And if He was, and is, and is to come- then fire of God, fall on me.