Gains and Losses

In preparing to move to Africa, I have been thinking a lot about things I will need- specifically clothes. Most of you are not surprised by this at all, as you have most likely noticed my concern for clothes. I am the girl who always likes looking a certain way- put-together, classy, with just a hint of trendy. I must honestly say that I have given a lot of thought over the past few weeks to figuring out how to surrender myself without having to surrender my style.

This post is meant to function as a white flag of sorts, as I find myself unable to justify this aspect of my life as any different than any other part. Truth is, Jesus demands I surrender it all- my clothes and my style are no exception.

But why? What's the big deal? I think this passage from Phillipians 3 has allowed me the most clarity in answering these questions...

"But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them rubbish that I may gain Christ and be found in Him..."

If I am to know more of Christ, and if others are to know more of Him through me- I must be willing to count all things as rubbish. I must confess that, right now, I do not feel that way about my clothes. They are precious to me because they have become part of my identity- so much that my style actually defines part of who I am.

As I realized this to be true, I became deeply disturbed. I do not want to be defined by anything but Jesus. I do not want to be known for anything but His presence in me. I do not want anything to get in the way of His increase in the world- certainly not something as silly as clothes. I want more of Jesus too much to let such a silly thing get in the way. If it means I get more of Jesus, and the world gets more of Him through me- I think I can get over it. It will certainly take time and lots of grace, but I am trusting Him who provides everything for life and godliness (2 Pet 1:3), and that the gains will eternally outweigh the losses.

PS- Though I am surrendering my clothes and style, I want to assure you I am actually still going to wear clothes. There will be change, however- as I do want to be more intentional about how I dress so that my outward appearance may better reflect the desires of my heart. Who knows, maybe it's camel hair and leather for me from here on out...(Mark 1)