His Twin

As often as I think about Joab's birth mother, I am reminded of his twin- that for the beginning years of his life, he was part of a pair. Alone in his crib now, I'm sure there was once a time when he was never without her- maybe they even wore matching outfits all the time like me and my sister. And yet now, they are separated from each other.

I have had to do a lot of guess work to fill in the gaps of the story I have been told regarding their being apart, and I have to be honest, I have not found it in me to give much grace to the situation. I was told that the twins lived together at the same transit home when they first entered "the system," but that Eunice was moved to a home for older children once she reached the appropriate age. You see, Eunice is a typically developing child, and so moved right up with the other kids when she was almost 2 years old. Donald, on the other hand, was not typically developing. He didn't move, speak, attend, play, or interact like others his age (and apparently like his twin sister), but instead seemed to have a developmental delay- and so he was left behind to stay with the younger kids.

When Donald's social worker told me all of this, and then proceeded to tell me that she had recently been adopted by an American family in Washington- my heart sunk. Separated from his twin by an entire world, let alone ocean and continent. I left the meeting that day running it over and over again in my head- they couldn't have known. That family could not have known that they were leaving behind her brother. They would never do something like that, would they?

The day I brought Joab home, I spoke again with his social worker. "Oh, I will have to give you the contact information for his twin's adoptive family. They will be so happy to know that God has finally found a home for her brother. Maybe you could visit them sometime?"

Here's the part where I find grace hard to, well...find. They knew. They knew that as they took home their precious baby girl and tucked her into her brand new bed that her twin brother still lay alone in his crib. Alone, except for the 30 other toddlers laying in cribs around the room of the orphanage where they lived. They knew.

Now, I am fully aware that I could be wrong. I could have been told something incorrectly, or filled in gaps in ways I should not- but the premise of the story is not unique. The reality is that orphans who have special needs very seldomly get adopted by western families. Lots of excuses on our end add up to millions of children who just disappear into the crisis, unnoticed amongst the millions of other orphans in the world.

I cannot do anything about what has already separated Joab and his sister (and whether or not we will ever visit them, I am not sure), but I can certainly work to see that such a thing becomes less and less of a reality. I can work to see that orphans and vulnerable children who have disabilities are cared for and loved as they need and deserve, and not left alone in their cribs to waste away. More details on how I and Special Hope Network plan to do this later...

For now, I will ask you to pray for her. And for him. And for them. Oh yeah, and for me- pray that God would separate in me the anger that is necessary and not; that is righteous and proud, that I may move forward in my thoughts and actions in a way that is pleasing and honoring to Him- the Father of all fatherless.