Stuff

Tonight is our first night in our new house. Since I will be living here for a while (as opposed to moving about, as we have done for the past several months) I am having to really wrestle with what it means to put down physical roots- meaning, how do i deal with acquiring 'stuff?'

It was easier when I was leaving Charlottesville to obey Jesus's command to 'sell all that [I] have and give to the poor'(Mark 10:21)- getting rid of stuff was a natural part of my moving to Africa, since I had no desire to cart it all with me. During the 'in between' phase, when I was living out of a suitcase (technically 3) for several months, it was still easy to feel as if I had checked that one off my faith to-do list.

But now, in moving into the new house, I am faced with the reality of 'needing' stuff again...if that's possible. I gurantee you I'm not actually doing a good job with figuring it out- but I am really asking the Lord to give me a different heart than I had have had in the past in order that I may do things differently than I have in the past.

Practically, I am trying to ask questions like 'how would having this particular 'thing' allow me to be more faithful?' So for example, in buying furniture for my room; do I buy a desk? It seems it would allow me to better study, which I am called to do so that I may know God and His Word, in order that I may be more useful in teaching and encouraging others- so it seems like that may be a good idea. What about a reading chair- will it allow me to be more faithful in my reading, or it is extravagant, as i can simply read in a regular chair- seems like a not so good idea.

The overarching question remains however; what if I am asking these questions in order to simply justify having more 'stuff?' It allows me to say 'oh, I really wrestled with that,' and somehow that sounds enough like holiness to count for obedience.

Problem is, scripture doesn't seem to count wrestling as 'good enough.' Questions don't mean anything unless my asking them actually leads to my acting in obedience of God's commands. Wrestling in itself does not count for much in the end...it is how I act that will be counted for me and against me. So would you pray with me, that God would give me grace indeed to trust and obey; that in my actions (and particularly the stuff I have), I may be counted worthy of the calling to love Him and others as myself.