Way Beyond the Concept

In two days, we move way beyond the concept, and all the way to Lusaka, Zambia. I am having a hard time describing the way I am feeling about it, as it really is unlike most things I have ever experienced. Holly described it well the other day- you know that feeling in your stomach when you're riding up the roller coaster, right before the first big drop? You're already strapped in, and certainly can't get off now. The reality of the drop is welling up in your belly, and all you can do for increased safety is grip the handlebars more tightly. And though it's scary, you don't actually want to get off, because you know in the end it will be well worth it- that's why you got on the ride in the first place.

It feels kinda like that- a strangely wonderful combination of fear and excitement for all that God has laid out ahead of me. There is still so much I cannot see (that seems to be the case with most roller coasters- you don't really get to see their twists and turns from the starting point), and so much I cannot anticipate.

What I can see and anticipate is this- for however long He'll have me, and for whatever purposes He chooses- I am absolutely and undividedly His. As long as His grace pours over me, I will be fixed to spend my life with and for Him, as His will for me to do so has undoubtedly wooed my heart. As long as His mercy accompanies my mornings, I will be content to do His work in this world, no matter how lowly or insignificant it may seem while doing so. As long as He extends to me the hope of His calling, I will endure whatever trials, suffering, and discipline He purposes, that I may be found worthy when His face I finally see. And once again, may it gain Him all the blessing, honor, glory, and power forever and evermore.

"O that I could be a flame of fire in [His] service, always burning out in one continual blaze. Fit me for singular usefulness in this world. Fit me to exult in distresses of every kind if they but promote the advancement of [His] kingdom. Fit me to quit all hopes of the world's friendship...Fit me to be totally resigned to the denial of pleasures I desire, and to be content to spend my time with [Him]...Fit me to enter the blessed world where no unclean thing is, and to know [He] with me always." The Valley of Vision

Pray for me and for us; with me and with us, dear friends. There's a lot of ways we could take this first, big drop- but I am asking that He would allow us the bravery and the trust needed to simply let go, raise our hands high, and enjoy.