Here's the Thing

I think it would be a good idea to clarify a couple things about my writing on this blog. I'm sorry I didn't write these things earlier, I guess I assumed they would be obvious- not a good idea when writing to undefined public.

I write here as a way of processing thoughts; thoughts that are always ongoing and never actually finished. My writing is just that- a personal thought process. It is not meant to be read as an authoritative source of truth, but is hopefully to be read as I intended; as a personal journal.

I understand that many who read this blog will disagree with things I write. I understand that I am never going to have it all right, nor am I going to conceptualize the Gospel perfectly. I'm sorry if my previous writing displayed an attitude that suggested differently. The Word in itself is the only authority on truth, and while I do seek a right understanding of that truth, I guarantee that I will never be the sole possessor of its entirety.

I am so thankful for those of you who have extended grace unto me as I continue to wrestle with these things- I pray that the Lord would indeed pour out His Spirit that we may know Him and His will more fully. I am also saddened by places where grace has seemingly come up short, in my own heart first and in the hearts of others also- this is an unfortunate reality for those of us wanting to be more like Christ, from whom grace never ceases to overflow. In moments of conflict, it seems certainly true that the logs confuse our perception of the specks, and in that confusion, hurtful words seem to be things extended instead of grace.

In so many ways, this week has shown me that we are in such great need of humility. I stand first in line hoping to receive- won't you file in with me and pray-

"I humble myself for faculties misused,
opportunities neglected,
words ill-advised,
I repent of my folly and inconsiderate ways,
my broken resolutions, untrue service,
my backsliding steps,
my vain thoughts.
O bury my sins in the ocean of Jesus' blood
and let no evil result from my fretful temper,
unseemly behaviour, provoking pettiness.
If by unkindness I have wounded or hurt another,
do thou pour in the balm of heavenly consolation.

Fill me with an overflowing ocean of compassion,
the reign of love my motive,
the law of love my rule.

O thou God of all grace, make me more thankful,
more humble;
Inspire me with a deep sense of my unworthiness
arising from the depravity of my nature, my omitted duties,
my unimproved advantages, thy commands
violated by me.
With all my calls to gratitude and joy
may I remember that I have reason for sorrow and humiliation;
O give me repentance unto life;
Cement my oneness with my blessed Lord,
that faith may adhere to him more immovably,
that love may entwine itself round him more tightly,
that his Spirit may pervade every fibre of my being
That send me out to make him known to my fellow men."
-The Valley of Vision