...Explained

I realize my previous post and confession made less sense and were far less useful apart from their details, and so I embark on the task I have been avoiding for several weeks. A direct and up-front warning: this will be absurdly lengthy and certainly offensive. I do not, however, intend any other offense than that which is already present in the Word and hope to be extremely careful in its delivery.

About a month ago, a thought popped into my head- what makes me different from other people? Certainly there are circumstances unique to my life that make me different, but why am I experiencing things others seem not to be? Specifically, why I am feeling called to give away all my things and serve the poor while others seem just fine living 'normal life' here? Why am I all of a sudden being labeled the exception to the standard?

And since I actually couldn't find a good reason to explain my being different from anyone else claiming to follow Jesus- I started an argument. I began to argue with people that everyone actually should give away all they have and serve the poor, even more specifically- orphans with intellectual disabilities in southern Africa. Sounds like a bit of a stretch, but I went with it for a while.

Every time I started this conversation, I repeatedly found myself reaching the same dead end- right where the road of my knowledge of Scripture ran out. I became so frustrated by this path that I almost gave up on the argument. And that's when God stepped in and compelled me to pray for understanding (Matthew 7:7). Had I known what I was asking, I'm not sure I would have had the guts to continue, but thankfully He did what I could not choose on my own and led me onward.

I stayed up that entire night feeling like I was reading the Word for the first time. I literally had to set down my Bible several times because I was so shocked by the passages I had just read- it all seemed so new and so entirely different than my previous understanding of the gospel. With this realization came tears- I cried harder than I ever had and for longer than I thought possible.

My sorrow came as a response to the realization of my sin- that for so long I had believed and lived according to a different gospel than the one laid out by Jesus in the Bible, and specifically one that I had created to suit myself and the life I wanted to live. I had chosen to follow some of Jesus' words, but not others; not the ones I understood to be a little too uncomfortable or a little too demanding of my life. Here's the thing, Scripture doesn't actually seem to function like a buffet- where you get to pick and choose according to your palette and leave behind that which does not appeal. It seems instead you either swallow down everything laid before you, or you don't get eat at all.

Even worse, I realized I had not been content to sin alone- I had invited others to join me and my 'buffet-style Christianity.' I encouraged others to join me in believing and living this false gospel, telling them that it was just fine to do so. Problem with that is very clear in Scripture- 'But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.' (Matthew 18:6). Excuse me for a moment as the shock of that passage forces me to once again to set down my Bible...

Next God asked me to sit down at the table and consider that which lay before me. My eyes glanced over the all the plates and cups I had always refused or intentionally let pass by- specifically the ones full of Hatred (Matthew 5:11, 10:22), Persecution (Matthew 5:10, 10:17), and Death (Matthew 10:39, 16:24-26). And His Word spoke (though not using this exact metaphor, which is my own)- you either eat and drink of them all and do so entirely, or you excuse yourself from the table- it's all or nothing (Luke 14:25-33).

I foresee the hatred, persecution, and death beginning with the words I write next, as I know they will offend the theology many of you currently hold, and the life many of you currently live. I believe the terms of discipleship are actually what the Word says they are- 'If anyone desires to come after Me, let Him deny himself, and take up His cross, and follow Me.' (Matthew 16:24). We must deny ourselves and die. Then, and only then can we follow Christ. I also believe that once we actually do so, our lives will look just like Jesus', specifically that they will be given wholly to the service of the poor. (My understanding of the Word does not allow me to use that word except to mean anything other that the actual poor- those who do not have material wealth.) The greatest commandment in Matthew 22:37 is intended to argue this very thing, if it is understood within the whole counsel of God. Specifically, 'love' as used in the greatest commandment is intended to be understood according to the very way Jesus demonstrates 'love' in His life and death. John puts it this way in his first epistle- 'By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in Him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and truth.' (1 John 3:16-18)

Friends, we cannot claim to be the people of God and continue to ignore the way He calls us to 'love.' We cannot continue to love Him in ways we choose, but instead we must do so by laying down our entire lives for the poor. This is what it means to love God, and as far as I can see, most of us are missing the mark.

And while we miss it, the world dies around us. The hungry, thirsty, strange, naked, sick, imprisoned world remains just as it is. The enemy sits comfortably back, not even caring who we are, since we are certainly no threat to His plans to continue stealing, killing, and destroying (John 10:10). Just as he did with the sons of Sceva, the enemy must be bewildered and amused when we claim to walk in the power of Christ, and rightfully so since we look and live nothing like Him (Acts 19:14-15). He knows our fate better than we, and looks forward to the day when Jesus says to us 'I never knew you,' (Matthew 7:23) and 'inasmuch as you did not do it to one of least of these, you did not do it to me' (Matthew 25:45-46). The enemy looks forward even more to the moment just after when we are cast into everlasting punishment as a result.

Here's the really tricky thing about this gospel- if it is true, then we are not. We are not actually who we say we are. And unless we actually begin obeying God's commands to love Him alone with all our heart, soul, and strength, and our neighbor as ourself; which according to Jesus is done so when we 'give all we have and serve the poor' (Luke 18:22), then we too will be forced to sorrowfully walk away from the table. That's the other tricky thing about the Gospel, and this table that sits before us- we will never choose to sit in that chair after really considering that which is laid out before us. We will always act according to the wickedness of our heart (Jeremiah 17:9)- we will always excuse ourselves from the table, and head back to the broad buffet line of destruction (Matthew 7:13-14). We will never choose love and we will always refuse obedience- unless the grace of God allows us and enables us to partake of the whole meal (Ephesians 2:4-10). It is completely up to Him as the Sovereign God to provide that which is needed to obey His call of true discipleship, and so my hope is placed in Him as He promises to do so for those whom He chooses.

The confession I posted yesterday was in regards to a conversation I had in which I shrunk back from preaching this Gospel; fearful of the reaction it may cause in my fellow converser. I hope this post functions as a step in a different direction, one demonstrating that I believe this Gospel to be the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes (Romans 1:16), and I will not be ashamed to speak it out with my words and my life. There is much more to say, but I will stop for now (although I'm sure many stopped reading long ago- for those of you who pushed through, I pray it be a useful endeavor for you). More details of the argument (it's back on) to come, but for now 'The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all, Amen' (Philippians 4:23).