Seeds Sown, Not Necessarily Grown

I think we, as Christians, have the tendency to easily assume things without really thinking about it. For example, when reading something like the Parable of the Sower (Matt 13, Mark 4, Luke 8), I think we tend to assume we are the "good soil" people- the ones who have received seeds that will automatically yield a crop thirty, sixty, even one hundredfold.

I certainly do hope that I am one whose heart is filled with good soil- but can I share a fear with you? What if I am actually one of the others? What if the seed of God's truth that has been sown in me is snatched away by some evil bird? What if the roots can't grow deep enough, and therefore the seed only endures for a short while? What if the thorns choke out the seed, and it withers away?

I think I am most fearful of the third seed's fate-

"Now he who received seed among thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful."

I know the wickedness of my own heart, and how much I can be consumed by the cares of this world. And though God's grace has allowed me to make a significant decision of surrender in choosing to move to Africa, I am not yet fully convinced that my sinfulness won't ruin what God has started in me. If left up to me, my life still has distinct potential to end up fruitless.

I suppose this is where trusting Him must once again enter the picture; that I must, once again, rely on Him and His grace instead of myself and my own abilities. The seed He has planted has only one real hope- that He would grow it, and make it to produce something beautiful. Only He can do it, and "being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in [me] will complete it" (Phil 1:6)- whatever it might look like, I pray for a frutiful life, and that the harvest be unto His Name and honor.