One of Those Mornings

Normally, I am excited to get out of bed to a crazy day of life here in Zambia. This morning, however, was not really one of those mornings. Today, I stayed in bed a bit longer, read a couple more chapters of my Bible, and prayed with a little more mmph.

Last night, my sister was crowned Homecoming Queen at Virginia Tech. She worked her butt off campaigning (as did so many of her friends) and it all came together into what I'm sure was a moment of incredible surreality- her name being called in front of thousands.

Those thousands, however, did not include me. I didn't get to be there for any of it.

Hence, one of those mornings.

It doesn't have me doubting being here, nor the work I do here. It does not have me questioning God's plan, nor the fact that it involves me being so far away from people like my beloved sister. It simply reminds me of the cost. In Scripture, we read over and over again that following Jesus costs you everything- nothing short of your entire life. I'm starting to realize, though, that it's in the adding up of the little things that one really begins to understand what 'everything' really means. It means a quick trip down to Blacksburg just to be there for the kick-off of the campaign. It means standing with your mom as you wave frantically at your sister's car in homecoming parade. It means being there for a beautiful moment of your sister's life, when God's glory is shining through her before tens of thousands of people. These are all a part of the 'everything' it costs me to follow Jesus and His plan for my life.

And so, one of those mornings indeed. When a little more energy and a lot more grace is needed to thank God for another opportunity to give my life to Him. When a little more perspective and a lot more vision is needed to praise God for another day to serve Him here in Zambia. And most characteristic of this morning- when it feels a bit easier to just fall at His feet and plead with Him for the strength needed to do it all.