Delighting in Him, the Desire of my Heart

I guess right about now may be when I start to feel homesick. Some of the newness of things is beginning to wear off- driving on the other side of the road just seems like driving now. Some of "vacation" feel of our days is fading away- we are WAY too busy to call this a vacation. And therefore some of the reality of all this is setting in...

I guess I could let myself long for things from back home- like my favorite restaurants (I've been craving Continental Divide lately) or the ease of being able to go out alone (not the most safe option here in Lusaka). I guess I could let myself get really sad in missing friends and family- I certainly wish I could spend the week with Madds and Mols in KC and then make the drive back to VA with them (it's a drive we've several times made together), and I definitely wish I could speed-dial my sister and hear about her time at Greek Summit.

I could, and am certainly tempted to sometimes. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss Charlottesville. I really do.

The reason I don't necessarily long for them, however, is because I am here. To long for something other than what God has called and provided for me to do would seem to be a great grievance. If I am going to claim Him to be the sovereign Lord of my life, and if I am also going to claim that He does all things for His glory and for good- than my only real option is to delight in the place where He has me. And for now- that's here in Lusaka, Zambia, power-shortages, funny food, parasitic water and all.

There is also a reason why it is not actually hard for me to delight in this place. It's because I also claim these verses to be utterly and overwhelmingly true-

"Delight yourself in the Lord,
and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him and He will act."
Psalm 37:4-5

It is true that Zambia, itself, has captured my affection- but it is actually the Lord who holds the entirety of my heart. In committing my way to Him, it seems He saw it best for me to make my way to Africa- to leave behind all the things I love so much, to serve orphans with intellectual disabilities. In trusting Him to make it so, I have seen Him act in the most incredible and precious of ways (in the months preceding and in the one week of my being here). He is my delight, and and it seems that in bringing me here, I have gotten to see and know more of Him.

Like in the face of this little boy...


Had I delighted more in those things I loved back home, I would have never met him. Had I chosen to stay back home, I would have never had the privilege to be the one to hold him on his first trip outside of his house. I would have never been the one to help stretch his CP-tightened muscles. And I would have never seen his beautiful smile as I did so.

He, and ones like him, are the reason I'm not feeling overly homesick. I'm sure there will be moments when the sadness of the distance between me, friends, and family is great- but I also know the greatness of the privilege I find myself experiencing. The Lord is doing something here (see and be encouraged by the details on the Special Hope blog), and I get to be a part of it.

And so I ask all the more that He give me grace to delight in Him, commit my way unto Him, and trust in Him above all else.