He Really Does

Can I tell you about my day yesterday? It's a great lead-in to writing about things God has been stirring in my heart recently...

I spent a few hours with the Nelsons, and was able to receive some much needed wisdom from Holly and Eric. I also got my daily dose of love from Maggie, Mollie, and Sam- whose prayers over the last few days have been my utmost delight. There is something about the prayers that are uttered from these specific lips (the ones making the constant noises and always needing more Aquafor)...

I babysat for the Fergusons, and had a paritcularly great afternoon with these 4 brown beauties. My favorite part was when I went to go check on Laney (who was having quite time in her room) and found her curled up, asleep on the floor in the corner. I scooped her up and snuggled with her in the rocking chair, and got to pray for her that God would continue to pour out blessings on this precious one.

I left their house to meet up with the Hagerty's, as we were all going on a little road trip to Dulles Airport. This is the first time I have gotten to hang out with the Hagerty family as a whole, and I must say that Eden and Caleb are even cuter in personality than they are in pictures (didn't seem possible). Eden is so sure of herself and Caleb is so tender- they are quite a pair. Kate and I sat behind them and tossed Llama and Brown Bear back and forth the whole way.

We got to the airport just in time to see Kateryna Joy Finley and her mother arrive home from their long journey. It was such a joy to be there for the reuniting of such a beautiful family- one that had been waiting a long time for that moment. I felt so blessed to be there and be a small part of it!

As I went to bed that night, and thought through my day, I praised God for the way He really does set the lonely in families (Ps 68:6). This is string of connection through my busy day- Maggie, Mollie, Sam, Alex, Hannah, Awbrey, Laney, Eden, Caleb,and Kateryna are living, breathing, loving testimonies that this is true of my God. The Lord not only loves orphans, but He loves giving them parents and siblings. He loves giving hope where there was once none, and restoring what was once so desolate (Is 61:4).

As I laid in bed, and praised God for these rescued ones, my heart was stirred for the ones still waiting. For as many as I was able to list above, I know there are countless more who have yet to be adopted. And I know that while they still sit in the lonely places, my God still loves them. He has not forgotten or left the alone (Deut 31:6)- He thinks of them constantly, obsessively, passionately. Not only that- He demands that we care for them as He does...

"Learn to do good. Seek justice. Rebuke the oppressor. Defend the fatherless. Plead for the widow." Isaiah 1:17

What is the Lord asking me to do when He asks me to surrender my life? More on this to come...

He Simply Must

For the past several months I have been praying specifically that God would make me more like Himself. I set out wanting to learn to love the ones He loves, hate the things He hates, and be just like He was when He walked this earth. As I have prayed this prayer, and allowed the Holy Spirit to examine my heart and life (Ps 139:23-24), I have found that God has certainly transformed pieces of me to be more like Himself (thank goodness, for those old parts of me were ugly). What I am finding more often, however, are those bits and pieces I have not yet allowed God's grace to touch- those places I have not yet surrendered to His ways and will.

I always thought that I could pick and choose how I was to follow Christ. I had passions, and dreams, and goals- surely to follow Christ meant to use those things I already had in me for His glory, right? Right, but only to a certain extent. The problem with letting my own passions, my own dreams, my own goals dictate how I followed Christ was simply that- all of those things were mine, and so to live by them would mean living according to my own ways, and not necessarily the ways of God.

The more I prayed and read, the clearer it became that in asking God to teach me what it meant to follow Him, I was actually asking the wrong question. The more I prayed and read, the clearer it became that God is actually asking for me to do more than just follow Him. His Word tells me...

"I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me." Gal 2:20

See, if I was only called to follow Him, than I would not actually have to be crucified. As long as I adjusted my steps every once in a while, I could go on living as I always had. The problem is that it's just not enough. It's not enough to model my own life (passions, dreams, goals and all) after His, because at the deepest root, my life remains my own.

What He is actually asking of me is to let go of all of my own ways, and to let them die completely. I must let myself be crucified if this verse from Galatians is ever to be a present reality; if Christ is ever going to actually live in and through me, I must completely and totally surrender my life to Him.

And so, as I learn and am compelled to surrender more of myself to Him who owns all of me already (1 Cor 6:19-20)- this is my prayer (same as John the Baptist in John 3:30)- He must increase, but I must decrease. He simply must.