He Chose Me

I have come to know so many beautiful things about adoption in the course of my life. From hearing the stories of my own mother's being adopted to now adopting my own son, and watching so many friends and family adopt in between- I have come to know it as something so intimately close to the heart of God. A beautiful glimpse of Him in this overwhelmingly mundane world- when He calls and empowers His people to step in and choose the ones who've been abandoned. To choose to give them life instead of despair. To choose them when others didn't and wouldn't. To choose them.

It was and is a privilege that God has called me to be a mother to Joab. To step in and give him life when others didn't- to choose him. I get to live it and love it each day.

But I have realized something even more beautiful about adoption- and have only just realized it as it played out right before my eyes. We were sitting in the driveway the other day, talking with a group of women who are taking our class on the basics of Special Education. These particular women are all dedicated and committed workers at an orphanage here in town, not unlike the women who worked in the place where Joab used to live. I'm sure it was a familiar scene for him- Zambian women, dressed in their brightly-colored citenges, all sitting and chatting- it was one he saw everyday for over 2 years.

I paused in my conversation with them to watch Joab more closely. He walked over to them, and grabbed a corner of a skirt, then grazed one of their hands, seemingly interested in the group. My heart fluttered for a moment, thinking that he might find them more comfortable or more familiar than me- the funny white girl sitting opposite them. But then, he walked over to where I was sitting on the pavement. He threw his arms around my shoulders and brought his face close to mine. He stared at me- and then looked back at them. And then back at me. Then this smile broke out on his face- one that told me he knew. He knew I was his. He knew I was his mama. And not only did he know it- but he agreed with it. He chose me.

I don't understand all that Joab comprehends and doesn't. But there was something in this moment that told me he understood that he was no longer alone, no longer without a family, no longer without hope. It was as if he was declaring 'no more' to the old, and 'keep it comin' to the new.

There may be a lot of beautiful things about adoption. But, oh. To witness the moment when a child realizes they're not an orphan anymore- the beauty simply overflows. Why? Because it proves God really is who He says He is. And that He does what He says He can do. He can take the old and make it new...He can take the lost and make them found...He can and does set the lonely in families. Praise God that He does. And praise God that He did and will do with my son- may Joab feel ever more secure in the hope God has set before him, and may I be continually joyous to be a part of it.

We Got the License!

Today's trip to Social Welfare was finally successful, and we walked away (quite happily, might I add) with Joab's license to travel!

Passport office, here we come.

Zambia, Oh Zambia

There was a poem I had to memorize in the first grade. It was a Shel Silverstein classic, and we youngins' thought it was pretty cool that our teacher even allowed us recite it before the class...

Homework, oh Homework
I hate you, you stink.
I wish I could wash you away in the sink.
I'd rather take baths with a man-eating shark
or wrestle a lion alone in the dark.
Eat spinach and liver, pet ten porcupines,
than tackle the homework my teacher assigns.

Pieces of this poem have been stuck in my head ever since, and unfortunately, there are occasions when other words find their way into the "homework" spot. Zambia may not fit according to syllables, but there are certainly times when my mind squeezes it right on in there.

It has happened several times this week, in particular when I have been packing up the boy and his stuff to make yet another trip to Social Welfare. I swear I have driven to that building at least 5 times this week. There haven't even been 5 days yet. And, Tuesday was International Women's Day, therefore causing an entire city shut-down, and so it doesn't even count.

While the people there are friendly (they all now know us by name), there are indeed moments when I wish I was dealing with a hungry shark instead. The look on the face of a hungry shark is very straight-foward- it says 'you look like a tasty snack and I am going to eat you.' The look on the face of a Zambian, however, could mean a plethora of different things on a spectrum that spans an incredible distance. When the Social Worker woman tells me, 'ah yes, I will have this done for you by the end of the week,' she may actually mean the end of the week. However, what week she means exactly is always unclear. Does she mean this week, or a week many moons from now? I am never sure, and now matter how hard I try to read, their faces never do tell.

You all remember the day I had to eat liver at our friend Nancy's house, and while that is not an experience I am looking to repeat- I may actually consider doing it if it meant the woman would hand me the license right then. If only it was as simple as performing a silly dare, but alas, I have found that tackling this task has been beyond frustrating for me.

I really believe that it will all work out, and that we will get the license, passport, and visa in order for Joab to travel back to the US- but would you all pray with me that I don't keel over before it happens? Would you also pray that God gives me a heart that is a tad more mature than a first-grader so that I can stop this poem from going through my head all day? And let's be serious- I've seen a few lions, and I think I'd take on any Zambian before I stand up to one of them.

He Was Made for Walkin

And apparently, that's just what he'll do- as of Thursday night, that is. Joab had taken a couple steps while my Dad and Uli were here, but on Thursday, he actually walked all the way across our bedroom. And then, the next morning, he walked all around the house. Then the yard. Then the mall. Then the yard again. This kid is a walkin machine- there is just no stopping him. Believe me, at moments I have really tried.

I thought I was tired already, but I'm thinking that this new milestone is going to cause me as much exhaustion as it does pride and joy. But I am one happy mama to chase this boy wherever he wants to go.

Minus One, Plus One

Tomorrow morning, Joab and I go to pick my parents from the Lusaka International Airport! They will be staying with us for the next week, and we are so excited. We will be going to Livingstone for a few days, and then hanging out here for the rest. Pray for safe travels for them tonight, and for a fun week ahead for all of us.

So, although I am thrilled to add Joab into our family's collection of photos (which Uli has meticulously organized), I am sad that Emily won't be here to be in them. I guess we will have to wait until the Spring in order to capture the whole fam, but here are some good ones from our US rendezvous at Thanksgiving (pre-Joab, obvi)...

Does it Even Need a Title?

It's certainly not his best work, but it's what I got on camera for now. I hope you enjoy this beaver boy as much as I do, dear readers!

Beyond a Relational Status

In my last Address, I wrote about my feeling called to remain unmarried in order that I might be more wholly devoted to the Lord, and traced back to 1 Corinthians 7 as my point of origin. Thing is, 1 Corinthians 7 is not just about remaining unmarried- Paul has plenty to say in this chapter about being married as well. But honestly, I don't think this chapter is actually about being married or being single. I think what Paul is writing about here, and what the Word is pointing to (even demanding) in this chapter is obedience.

For sake of time and space, I will attempt to lay out what I see to be Paul's basic argument, and how we eventually get to obedience. You will need to pick up a Bible for yourself in order to be convinced, as I promise I will leave out much...

In Paul's words to those who are married, he writes something like:

live as though you were not married

In order to figure out what he means by "live as though you were not married," and why he gives such strange advice to married people, we go to Paul's words to those who are not married, where he writes something like:

remain unmarried so as to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord

And so, if you do that math, you realize that Paul is actually saying the same thing to all believers, whether or not we are married:

live as you are called and secure your undivided devotion to the Lord

The point, friends, is not whether or not we are to marry. It is that we love Jesus undistractedly and obey His commands unswervingly. If He has intended for you to be married as you do- so be it. As Paul seems to say, it will be harder to singly focus on the service of the Lord as a married person- and so I ask for increased grace to those of you who are wed. If He has purposed for you to do so without being married- so be it. Paul implies that is it difficult to remain single and walk in holiness, and so I ask for increased grace for those of you who are unwed.

I've heard it said that this argument is not really valid because Paul wrote what he did according to his belief that Jesus was returning to the earth soon, even in his own lifetime. However, Paul's argument is based on something much more than timing, and therefore we don't get to throw it out simply because it didn't happen. Jesus is coming back- the timing is His to know and mine to imminently anticipate, just as it was Paul's. This world is fading faster and faster into eternity, and when it finally arrives, I certainly want to be revealed as one chosen to spend it with Him. Let's depend on the Spirit to live and love like we are those ones, and may it be unto the Name and the ever-deserving glory of Jesus Christ.